Paranoia

The family get-together is definitely over as my sister took the early morning flight westward this morning, back to her job and life on the other side of the globe.

I didn't send her to the airport this time, just my sister (the one I am living with) with all three kids in tow, right after Subuh prayers.

I am not certain why, but I feel extremely depressed the last couple of months and I simply couldn't keep up the happy and carefree facade that I must maintain in front of my family.

I also find it difficult to write about local political goings-on that seem too petty to me when compared to the life-threatening situations being faced by ordinary people in trouble spots throughout the world.

The world of politics and international diplomacy (or posturing more like it) is something I cannot even claim to fully comprehend, nor attempt to analyse.

But I don't need to be an expert to see the proxy wars being fought throughout the world, the manipulations at play, the public posturing of the head bullies (they call them presidents and prime ministers, but they are just bullies to me), and the eventual negotiations which they called diplomacy that will apportion territorial influence over regions, resources and minions after they have accomplished a certain number of casualties.

After all the killings, the number of deaths are just statistics that will determine who had the upper hand in the fight for economic influence and acquired-by-proxy resources.

How little do these warmongers value the lives they obliterate by the thousands to further their ambitions for global hegemony, not that they value the lives of their proxies any higher than those they killed.

Looking at the events that affect our nation these past few years, I have this sinking feeling that peaceful and prosperous Malaysia is being manipulated and pushed into a situation.

Lahad Datu was the first real public threat that test the resolve of our security forces, while MH370 pitted us against China, and MH17 pushed us to decide how to deal with Russia (see how MH17 seems to unite our politicians in condemnation of the perpetrators ... kinda telling that this time around all the opposition MPs were all in agreement, meek as lambs.)

When Malaysia seems to be avoiding conflict by keeping neutral and side-stepping the issues of condemnations, Israel is now accusing us of training Gaza fighters.

It is one thing to be accused of training MNLF by Filipino riff-raffs, but to be accused by Israel of training Hamas is something else.

It can be used as an excuse to bomb us to oblivion.

And amid all these, social unrest is being stoked under various guises of civil liberties by NGOs which have been mushrooming lately, while opportunistic political parties riding on the waves of negativity, take advantage of the situation to further their political ambitions.

Despite our government's efforts to steer clear of creating situations that would trigger foreign intervention, I can't help feeling that we will, sooner or later, be pushed over the precipice into unwanted violence.

Unfortunately I don't seem to see anyone else sharing my concern, definitely not our aspiring politicians.

Maybe it is just paranoia, but the feeling of helplessness is rather overwhelming.