Note: This posting is a continuation of My story : In the begining
The most beautiful thing in my small room is a koinobori (japanese fish flag) that someone bought for me at a Daisho five ringgit shop two years ago. It is the only decorative item in my room.
I sleep on a two-inch thick mattress. I got no bed, cupboard or anything much else. There is a place to hang my clothes and three shelves left behind by the person who previously occupied the room which I used to put my stuff. I have a nice Ikea laundry basket though. There are also two plastic chairs, also left behind by the former occupant of the room. The cheap green curtain was put up at the window by my sisters. The rent is RM300 and that's all that I can afford. No joke.
I came back to JB several years ago. It turned out to be the most stupid thing I have done for my career. But never mind lah, it's water under the bridge already. I am already at the tail end of things anyway. So, I just need to slog on as long as I have the energy. Should not be for too long now, I guess.
I am not an ambitious person. I never crave to have lots of money or being chauffered driven and worshipped by people like some hot shot BN fella. At work, I always try my best but my aim has always been modest. Someone used to scold me a lot for wasting "my talents". I appreciate the motive and tried my best to meet the expectations, but I find it hard to sell out on my principals just to "move up in life".
All I actually need is a decent income so that I can take care of my responsibilities. If I push harder to get more, it's because I want the people I love to have a slightly better life. Honestly, I can do with just the basic stuff. That Taiwan thing I kept mentioning in my previous postings is just my favourite dream. I do wish though I could afford to travel more. I still harbour the hope of spending some time in Taipei one day. See lah how, kalau ada rezeki.
As I had previously written, I come from a poor family. I eat simple food - nasi, ikan kembong goreng, sawi goreng - and I'm ok already. Ok, occasionally I pamper myself with some expensive Japanese food. My favourite is salmon sushi. This rare luxury is the influence of that person who gave me the koinobori. I have this like once every three or four months.
My life has been dreary for more than a year now. The only bright spark in my life in JB now is my little contribution to Johor BN. I like Johor MB Datuk Abdul Ghani Othman because I find him to be a good man and a sincere leader. I think I have written about that so many times already. He never gave me anything for my support but I'm ok with that. My conscience is clear that way. I got my little salary and that's good enough for me. The reward is in knowing that my beloved Johor is in safe hands...for now.
Things are not however going well for me at the moment. I'm trying to stay positive. I may lose my job soon because of things that I write. But it's ok. That's the risk I take to write what I believe. I believe that my rezeki will be decided by Allah, and not by some peacock man.
My late mother once told me not to fear anyone or anything but Allah. I'm not a religious person, but I always remember that. I believe that if I keep my faith intact and stay on the right path, insyaAllah I will be safe.